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Redneck Muslim Jokes

Terms and explanations....

  • Tawheed is the Muslim concept that God is One. God sustains and maintains creation without any need from it or for it; and He is the sole Lord of the universe. No one is worthy of worship but Allah (swt).
  • Salat means prayer. Salat is one of the Five Pillars of Islam.
  • Assalam Alaiykum means "May God's peace be unto you." You'll hear Muslims say many phrases throughout the day. We always say this to greet another Muslim. The other Muslim answers, Wa alaiykum-us-sallam which means "And to you be peace."
  • A thobe is the traditional clothing for Muslim men, a loose, long-sleeved, ankle-length garment. Jesus and Muhammad (pbut) wore thobes. When all men dress in simple clothes, it's difficult to distinguish on the basis of socio-economic status.
  • Muslims pray five times a day during fajr (morning), dhuhr (noon), asr (afternoon), magrib (sunset), and isha (night) time.
  • Sheik Hamza Yusuf is a respected American Muslim scholar.
  • An Imam is a prayer leader. A fatwah is a religious ruling. Eating pork is forbidden in Islam.
  • In Islam, the entire world can be a place of worship. Before attending church for example, you usually make sure you are clean. We do this by performing wudu (ablution).
  • Salat for a Muslim involves movement of his entire body.
  • Muslims don't associate God with anyone. We don't place intercessors between man and God.
  • The greatest jihad is the "inner stuggle." Jihad means struggle. The greatest struggle is the struggle that goes on within ourselves to do what is acceptable(halal) and to avoid what is forbidden (haram).
  • "Allah Akbar" means God is the Greatest. We exclaim this whenever we hear exciting news. Also used in meetings, to express approval of what a speaker has said.
  • One of the best known movies about Prophet Muhammad(pbuh) is "The Message" starring Anthony Quinn.
  • "Takbeer" is similar to saying Praise the Lord. Muslims respond to a Takbeer with "Allah Akbar!"
  • The Muslim Holy book is the Qur'an. The Qur'an is the word of God told by God.
  • The Islamic method of killing an animal is one that causes the least amount of pain to an animal. A prayer is also said before butchering the animal. Food killed in this manner is zabia.
  • The two major Islamic holidays are Eid Al-Fitr and Eid Al-Adha.
  • Dua is supplementary prayer.
  • The holy day for Muslims is Friday. Muslim men are required to attend Jummah prayer which is often around noontime.
  • Hunting in Islam is permitted if you plan to eat the animal. Senseless killing of animals is wrong. An animal must be capable of running away or flying.
  • Some new Muslims prefer to refer to their conversion as "reversion." All people are naturally Muslim. We are all born in pure monotheism, Islam.
  • Hijab is the modest covering of a Muslim woman. Most people use hijab to refer to the headscarf that Muslim women wear. Muslim men and women are both asked to be modest.
  • When someone embraces Islam, many reverts change their first name to that of a well-known Muslim. Men often add the following to their name: "Abdul Rahman." Addul Rahman means Servant of the Beneficent.
  • Muslims have many, many prayers. We have many prayers including prayers for when we leave and return home and before entering and after leaving the restroom. Prayer helps Muslims remember God throughout the day. This is part of maintaining God-consciousness.
  • Drinking alcohol is prohibitted in Islam. Why? Ask the surgeon general. Islam isn't just a religion; it's a way of life.
  • "Abdul Majid" means Servant of the Noble.
  • A kufi is traditionally worn in the majority of Muslim countries by men.
  • Whatever isn't haram is halal. However, Muslim religious scholars have classified actions into various categories. For example, in addition to halal and haram, there is also 'highly recommended' and 'highly not recommended.'
  • Muslims don't believe in original sin, and therefore, don't believe in the need for Jesus's death on the cross.
  • Prayer rugs aren't required to pray but it beats placing your forehead on a dirty floor or ground.
  • Bismillah means "In the name of Allah." We say this before bathing, praying, eating, drinking, cooking, or beginning any other activity.
  • Slavery in Islam is now prohibitted.
  • Mosque means "a place of worship." A mosque can be essentually anywhere.
  • The "Iqama" is given shortly before prayer. The "Athan" is given about 15 minutes before prayer.